The role of the mother...

'For much of human history babies needed to stay close to their mother to feed, stay warm and be kept safe from a range of predators, such as wolves, bears, eagles and crocodiles. The extreme vulnerability of babies meant that they simply did not get left alone. Ever! Unless, that is, their parents meant them to die. As Sarah Blaffer Hardy one of the world's leading social scientists, put it:

For more than thirty-five million years, primate infants stayed safe by remaining close to their mothers day and night. To lose touch was death. This explains why, even today, separation from a familiar caretaker provokes first unease, then desperation, followed by rage and finally despair.'

(quote taken from 'helping your baby to sleep', Gethin and Macgregor.)

Found this quite an interesting point. It taps in to one of my personal challenges - when to leave a baby alone today. In the cot when awake? Under a floor gym while I do some chores? Asleep somewhere?

How much do I try to make my baby conform to my lifestyle (of getting meals made, washing done, friends visited, shower had etc) and because I'm doing what the busy world demands of me, he gets put here, placed there, installed in pram, cot, carseat so I can go on doing what is so important with as much ease as possible?

When do I stop to ask if these things are necessary, now, or at all... when should my lifestyle actually change for a season to cater for being more present with this little one who will not be present with me for that long a time?

I have a romantic longing to live in community, where mothers can do their washing together, holding each other's babies and teaching older kids how to play baby games. I have this longing particularly on nights when Luke is out and every time I put Ezra down he wants my attention.

It feels rather un-heroic to not be shielding Ezra from crocodiles, the TV tells me I'm to shield him from germs and poor eating habits.